FORGIVING TO FORLIVING !-( How to Move On )
But how do you EXIST after something so terrible and so bad has happened to you -and the ones you love?
This is an age old question and it has the same old answers...over and over again... in every culture..in every scenario.. BUT...
they seem to forget ONE thing...!! -what happens after you come to the point of forgiveness...?
what happens when there's no HAPPY ending in this Hollywood movie?
Why the guilty are not paying the price and the innocent are STILL BEING persecuted mercilessly.
Why then for -give your enemy or persecutor?
Why not simply wipe them off the face of the planet... ??? FOREVER.
So do you forgive out of obligation?- duty ?...guilt?-or desperation?.. self righteousness ?
-through the desire to NOT live with HATE ..and ANGER and BITTERNESS in your heart...
OR to remove harmful thoughts in your mind or imbalance or violence. To allow SPACE for God to act?
But you realise it is then the only way out...because it is not our job to judge. Its Gods.
-whether your name is Jesus or Buddha or Mohammed or Moses...or Johnny Depp...
that still doesn't give you the justification of the Cardinal of Beziers .. (" Kill them all - Let God sort them out ! " )
We are not the judge of a human soul. No..
we must forgive for one simple reason.
-if only for one selfish reason...
you forgive that hateful person.
For : "WELLBEING. "
Nobody can be at peace until you having endured great pain at the hands of your enemies, and let it go...
you open your mouth and say...
" ITS OK" -
I forgive you.
......................
The Chinese say " when you seek revenge dig two graves.. one for your enemy ...and one for yourself...!" -
WHY?
- Because JUSTICE is not squashing your enemies into oblivion... it is reshaping the future by educating ... or as the Norwegians say...
REHABILITATING the worst of the worst. To see the highest in humanity and not the lowest or the most ugly.
To master humanities imperfections by being the greater more perfect human being.
"Hope is finding a road back to redemption and reconciliation and justice. "
Punishment is a deterrent ... but it is not the answer... but even then we need something else.
More than forgiveness...
We need...
FORLIVENESS!
Andreas Breivik's name is put alongside the name of human monster.
He massacred nearly 100 young children on an island in Norway for his political right wing beliefs. But when I spoke to my friend in Oslo Vegas I said...
" Why did Norway give this man only 22 years in prison?
When I was in Oslo the trial of this man was public. Anyone could get a ticket and witness the proceedings. I attended one day if only to see the man the media had demonised.
So the answer Vegas gave me was this..." In Norway we believe in rehabilitation and 22 years was our maximum legal sentence. "
Until today I thought to myself ..that was such a weak response to such a horrible offence this man committed. What about the anger...the pain and frustration of the many many victims of this massacre that number in the hundreds... How will they be rehabilitated?
How will they possibly live with themselves in the next 22 years?
How many of them will commit suicide or become lost in depression? Their lives destroyed by the pain this misguided man caused.
And that question today is what I will try to answer. It is something I have personally struggled with for over a decade.
And then what happens AFTER you are able to forgive a monster or monsters ?
What do you do? How do you get humpty dumpty back together again?
How do you deal with these cravings of revenge and justice?
How do you deal with the PTSD and the feelings of beings grossly wronged by society?
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is so common from those who survive war and other tragedies.
Some doctors use MDMA to try to reach this state of forliveness but it is a temporary if not partial solution.
Processing trauma includes acting out or manifesting your new paradigm to its completion. Its wholeness. Playing the end game and winning it.
What is the point if you conquer the world yet have no soul left ? -
- if revenge remains the only solution then you have defeated the purpose of forgiveness.
In our world today we need more forliveness as well as forgiveness so the wrong does not perpetuate itself with the cries of injustice unheard.
There has to be somewhere a point of healing.
And thats why a true transformation requires a collective effort through a collective mindset. A conclusion.
Where do you find Equilibrium for this New Age Olympian ?
Where do you find forliveness ?
And this is what this blog is about today.
I recall counselling a man who was a hired assassin who killed people for money. Whose pleasure was fighting animals in a pit. Whose recreation was cocaine...whores and ultra violence. He asked me:
" How can a God ever forgive me for the sins that I have done ? "
I thought about it and said.. " There IS no GREATER sin.... Sin is sin. God can do anything and forgive anyone he so chooses. "
It doesn't matter who you are or what you have done. The same rules written in the bible or the Koran or the Bhagavatam or the torah...for everyone apply to anyone. There are no exceptions.
God only does not act on sins against the Holy Spirit. That's it. At the time of His choosing not ours.
The Church and society has to move towards a new paradigm .. " FOR -LIVE- NESS !
If I had not personally witnessed what I have I would not say what I am saying. Grace abounds where grace is found. And grace comes through forgiveness ...and that through allowing it to work.
Allowing forliveness SIMPLY to happen.
If you slip into the old paradigm of condemnation.. it is lost. And you are back to square one.
As I understand it there are 3 steps to becoming healed- whole and set free from traumas of the past.
1. EXPRESSING YOUR ANGER.
( Externalising not internalising your pain- just be what you must be without apology. )
2. LETTING YOUR ANGER GO.
( Forgiving your enemy)
3. LIVING WITHOUT ANGER.
( Forliving your life to the endgame. You play out the endgame and you WIN. You find your peace. You do not let your emotions better your actions. )
For me ... I EXPRESS or externalise my anger..my disgust... and my hate...loathing and violence... with POETRY... with DANCE...with SONG... with CREATIVE WRITING...with IMAGINATION...with PRAYER...with MUSIC...with SEX...with ART... with GOOD MEDICINE...with MOVIES...and with GARDENING...with WALKING OR RUNNING...with TRAVEL and with LOVE.
Because perfect love casts out all fear.
NOT with ultra violence... NOT with blood ...and NOT by WAR. Because war is not only stupid... it is FINAL.
You kill someone legally in war.. ---you express your innermost primal HATE in war... and you LOWER yourself to the least of that which we call human... so as to win this 3D battle.
I have met two men who both were sentences to life in prison for murdering their wives in a fit of rage. All it takes is a few seconds or a few minutes...and an entire life is broken.. or lost.
For both it only took a moment of the loss of self control to lose their freedom. God is the judge. And HE will repay. Not us.
HIS PERFECT JUDGEMENT RUNS THROUGH GENERATIONS. NEVER FORGET THAT. GOD GIVES JUSTICE.
I recall a pastor who got AIDS from his wife who slept around with one of the congregants.
After 6 days fasting and praying .. he forgave both of them and in fact prayed for them. I met him the day before he died.
His mind was at rest. He could have taken his revenge but did not. He let God work through him.
HE TRUSTED IN GOD.
In prison like in war... the struggle is to retain your empathy... and your humanity... and your faith in a higher power.. a God.
Its easy to go down that deep rabbit hole and become lost in its warrens of despair. I know because I was in that warren.
A place I never thought I would ever get out of... consumed by my thirst for blood... and violence and destruction...
its a one way ticket to hell...
It was so bad I was planning Armageddon itself and how to start it... that's how the human mind can work when INJUSTICE is meted out. But through this fire.. I gained AUTHORITY...
- because I survived the worst of its flames and was not myself destroyed by my hatred for the world and what happened to me.
I consider my survival lucky.
But I also trusted in God.
Remember... HATE... ANGER... WAR... is an ALL CONSUMING FIRE... that destroys everything in its path... It has no morality... and no rules... you burn ..you rape...you murder and you plunder ... all so that you can WIN... there is no higher morality in war...than to WIN.
War destroys humanity.
He who wins writes the history and he who makes it to the top of the pyramid of heads lays down the rule of the land.
That is hegemony.
But it isn't justice. Nobody really wins a war. This is an illusion. Because those whom you kill take away part of your soul in their death. If there has been no war you could have been good friends. Brothers.
And this has been the way of power for millennium.
I was in this space. In fact I couldn't even hold a paintbrush once so I painted with my fingers... - and sold my painting masterpieces for over 250 dollars.. it was pure PRIMAL force... and this essence is what captured the ones who saw my paintings or heard my words...
"We mutinied on the Bounty ,
-and joined Captain Christians Crew...
Sent that Bastard Bligh adrift on Gods Oceans Blue.
We hoisted the Jolly Roger 'coz we dont like being told what to do...
And then set sail for the Indies , as Free men Bold and True!
(A poem I never finished...) - Captain Bligh made it home by a miracle of navigation and saw his enemies strung up... but the crew... all they wanted was a hot girl in a grass skirt in Tahiti...
" forliveness"
With anger there is no limit to what you can create.
By transforming this primal energy into something positive and creative I was able to do things mere mortals could not. I set up a political party...
I travelled to Zanzibar and laughed at people rioting ....
I lost my fear and was free...
I co created solar bicycles and travelled with the sun across East Africa to Mombasa
I lived in the Sahara in sandstorms with the Saharawi learning their ways...
I used strange hallucinogenic to uncover the meaning of life and my traumas and fears...
I sat in meditation at a Vipassana retreat and walked alone on the Wild Coast of South Africa...
I co founded a community in Switzerland and in Portugal.. a radio station. I travelled the world.
I faced my enemies once more and looked them in the eye...
I PUSHED the envelope because if I didn't I could not contain my feelings.
- and my energy broke through comfortability - like marmite... you either loved or hated me...
I was not a nice guy in my worst moments. But no different than any other in that same situation.
But neither was I the person that my enemies had painted.
I was able to express my anger in passionate creation... but not in violence. I decided I was born a peace maker not a war mongerer.
But this blog is not about me... It is about HOW I managed to keep it together and not BLOW up and do something terrible.
You see ... like a pressure cooker... when its boiling ...you release the steam... but you do it creatively... and firmly... you must always ask your self ..what am I ? I know some people who cannot answer this nor express themselves ... so they DRINK... they use copious amounts of cocaine or heroine... and die... or eat too much bad stuff and get a stroke... or do something stupid that lands them either dead or in jail... life is worth it...
and FREEDOM is worth it... but more importantly ... knowing WHO you really are...and believing in that picture of who you are... not what is projected on you by others ... that is what keeps you going through all the temptations to go down that destructive path...
you may lose your reputation... your business.. your health... your family... your children... and even your wealth ... but never lose your memories or your integrity...
This is the first part of forliving... STAYING ALIVE during stage one. The most volatile stage of all. Christians will pound your ears with ..O '..you must forgive them...!- and so will others say the same thing...
ALL TO MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY.
-but you dont like Corrie Ten Boom feel like forgiving the prison guard who killed your sister... in a concentration camp...
No. It wont come easily to you despite all your training and all your head knowledge when faced with the Russian soldier that raped your mother or the bandits who boiled your baby alive ,and crucified your wife to the wall after gangraping her with an AK 47 and all his comrades taking turns... then mutilating the corpse and feeding them to the the dogs...
I could go on... How do you forgive the vilest offender ..the most evil of Nazis who turned your own children against you?
Who purposely knowingly... committed an offense to the Name of justice itself ..by calling it "justice"...
-how do you forgive the lives they ruined by their heinous acts of programming and mind control...and despite all our 1000s of years of civilisation... you want to wipe this evil manifestation that calls itself "human" from the face of the Earth...
its so easy to become a misanthrope... one who dislikes people altogether...
-to let the dogs lick the blood of this Jezebel cocksucker of Satan ( do you get the feeling now? - its HATE. ) - How do you think it possible to read your bible or to worship God...
- it was better that your entire family were lost at the bottom of the Sea... and you closed the book and your soul was still whole. But instead.. you were tortured slowly and deliberately with lies and half truths.. all to suppress you out of envy or jealousy.
That is how the adversary does it. For some death is not quick but a slow torture because they know their destination is the outer darkness and you to everlasting life.
So it gives pleasure to this world to torture those whom He has called to bring life ..light ...and divine Love. Their victory is your return to that state of unforgiveness. That degraded lost being.
And so still you are meant to forgive.
What then about living ?
FOR-living ?
Some find it making electric cars whilst others making entire planets. But take away the toys ..the bells and the whistles.. and what are they ?
"Evil persists where good men do nothing... "
-and so... you express your anger not just in poetry and art but in non violent actions that may include fasting... researching the law... fighting for justice by writing out the messages ...by saying NO...
But then comes the next stage...
FORGIVENESS.
Sooner or later and for selfish reasons... you are going to have to let this poison go from your heart because it is like an all consuming fire that will kill you with its hate.
You must let it go. Not only is it a command of Christ, but it is a good thing to do for your mental- physical and spiritual well being...
You need to open your mouth and say... " I FORGIVE YOU
( you son of a bitch ) - it doesn't mean you must FORGET what has happened ...
-this is what they said in the Holocaust... we FORGIVE... BUT WE DO NOT FORGET... but no.. you must even let go of that painful memory too.
UNFORGIVENESS is a distraction from communion with the true self.
Corrie Ten Boom who counselled hundreds of victims of Hitler from the extermination and concentration camps said... For those who were able to forgive... the majority were able to live out useful lives again.. or sometimes even better...
So there had to come a point when I had to say...
I FORGIVE YOU.
For my own sanity. For my own health...and because I didn't want to keep this powerful energy in my breast any longer... an energy that destroys.
I met Brother Roger once... He prayed for me a long time before the serious event that happened to me ..actually happened. He was eventually stabbed to death by a knife wilding psycho woman from Romania.
She claims it was the devil.. or revenge for Brother Rogers secret conversion from being a protestant to a Catholic. That he was indeed a wolf in sheep's clothing. I dont know.. but did he have forliveness is the question ? - did he find his equilibrium ? or was this devil inside this Romanian woman just jealous of his work healing people ?
In my view. It was. Satan hates the people of God.
A humble man who had inspired 1000s with his message of HOPE and of peace... and he said... it was a Pilgrimage of TRUST.
I didn't kneel to be prayed for or kiss his holy hand...as some people do. I dont do that. And that was his message anyway. No gurus. No spiritual masters. Treat me normally like anyone.
I allowed this great man to pray for me and for my strength to endure my forthcoming trial...
Brother Roger was a catholic ( although not a professing one because he was born protestant) priest who came to a small village called Taizé in France from Switzerland.
He was looking to set up a prayer and healing community for monks and nuns in the shadow of the devasting effects of two World Wars... it was 1940s
And he met by chance a lady in this small village who offered him supper... and it was during this dinner that he made the decision... that was where and what he was going to do...
He was going to work for total reconciliation between ALL the ones who hated each other... no matter their history- their crime- or their politique.
And reconciliation comes after forgiveness.. on the way to forliveness.
He believed...and was eventually tested... this simple word..
FORGIVENESS...
But there is more... and yet... he never was able to discover it for himself.. only half of the story...
I recall speaking to my friend Pedro from Portugal who witnessed Brother Roger being stabbed ... and he recalls the shock and horror that went up amongst the congregation.
They were singing one of their mantra songs about the kingdom of God... and entering it... and then he got stabbed. but it has been said... that even in this martyrdom... he forgave his aggressor in his final breath on this Earth..and this great community that has helped 1000s of all faiths to seek reconciliation and healing over the decades... it continues to this day... on what they call the pilgrimage of trust...something we all must learn to do..
But this is NOT what is happening today in the Christian church.
Not at all. We see a vengeful gospel being preached...one that says... " There are consequences"... and despite me forgiving you... you must suffer.
" in my gospel despite me being forgiven for my sins.. your sins are greater.. so there is no grace for you- only consequences... because I am better more prosperous than you...grace does not apply to you..."
- that is the gospel being preached today by self righteous Christians who have never met the true Jesus.
-it is left at that..no rehabilitation... no re-entering society ... no forliveness.. yes forgiveness.. but no forliveness. -but a self righteous view that ... the offender has been punished and we forgive them...and I feel OK now..so it must all be good. And let me go back to planting my potatoes and eating my curds and whey.
And in the liberal left its the cancel culture creeps that ban you on facebook-: or from ever walking tall again... yes.. you are forgiven... but you are never allowed back into the fold again...
Despite being a pioneer in the protest movement for justice and equal rights. It is no different to the right wing..
This works from both sides... from societies perspective and from the individuals side too. That is why in Switzerland we decided we were in the vortex of politics. Not right. Not middle . And not left.
SOLIDARITY is FORLIVENESS.
And that became the name of our radio station. solidarity.fm.
So we need to go from FORGIVENESS TO FORLIVENESS...!
For the one who is the victim of the perpetrators... yes.. we forgive.. we express our anger... but now ... we need to live again...
and this is where society and the media needs to step up.
Because human evolution must move on. Being still in our comfortable worlds leads to stagnation.
We are challenged to love our enemies by Jesus. Not kill them. Falsely imprison them or torture them. And certainly not cancel them. That is the cowards way.
This is not the way of the heart in any spiritual teaching.
We need to be able to say the word.. "SHALOM".. a four letter Hebrew word which indicates ..WHOLENESS.. because in this wholeness is true freedom... true peace and true FORGIVENESS...
So once you have been able to let go of your anger and not want to blow up the world trade centre... you need to honestly LIVE. and let LIVE.
I met Julian Assange once and briefly in a prison cell in London.
I introduced myself and his reply was simple..and to the point.. JULIAN ( his name) - OZ ( his origin) and POLITICAL PRISONER ( his status) -
He unfortunately went about the whole thing the wrong way... chosing instead martyrdom. His own ego became his downfall. His intelligence his stumbling block. He forgot that he is not separate from us.
We are all part of this experiment.
If you are living with your anger... not letting it go... because deep down... if we do not face our fears and deal with it... it will control us... it will hinder us from coming to this" lost" horizon. ( shambala)
We need to eventually come to a point and say... OK... there is nothing more to do now but be happy. To live. TO BE.
-even having HOPE in the form of being able to see your children or touch their face again... its a good thing that sustains... and this is all part of externalising our emotions and living with the anger..... but it isn't the antidote to pain and trauma and anger... no...
-it is FOR LIVING...without ANGER...and, if you cannot write the story of your own movie - (because we are all directors of our own narratives and our own movies)...saying ...
" THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!... "
amen
-you have not moved beyond forgiveness... you are simply chasing your tail.
You live in the past...not in the present. And the past has not been learned from.
You live in this looping- never- ending- programme that controls your emotions and triggers you each time some smart asshole comes along and pushes that button for you to react...and by doing so demonstrates to you... you haven't "Forlived"...
Go beyond the state of forgiveness. This is what we are called to do now.
- instead of things like this bouncing off you like Teflon you allow it into your heart to live the old movie all over again...
- stuck in a circuit.
Until you become that circuit.
Doing the same things day in and day out. Never evolving. Growing. Never Living.
-you allow the anger and the thoughts of violence to come back...
Sometimes you have to let Natures God to defend you. Not your own strength.
-so moving from FORGIVENSS to forLIVEness...
IS something the Christian churches need to be teaching...
PERHAPS TODAY ?
-there is no magic pill.
LIKE MENDING A BROKEN HEART.
It takes time. TIME.
At least that's what my friend Chief Arvol Looking Horse told me in Greengrass in 2017. I think he was right now that I think of it. There's no magic cure.
It is wasting your PRECIOUS time to hold resentment and poison and hate in your heart.
It only harms you..... so forgiveness ... its not a pill you take to help you sleep.Its a way of life like the way of the heart.
You just live it.
It isn't something that will keep you out of hell... NO... its being able to say...
"THIS IS WHO I AM- AND WHAT I NOW DO." -AND ACCEPT THAT. FORLIVE yourself...
move on to something better, brighter and bigger !
- allow yourself the space to forlive you!- its ok.. I can live again.
But all this is a process.
The hardest person to convince is not those who hate you unjustly...
the hardest is you who keeps getting stuck in this same loop over and over again...
and allows your state of being limbo...
-to STOP you from living again.
- from healing those inner wounds ...from growing .. from blossoming.. from living...from BEING.
Mother Theresa when asked... "how do you feed so many people- dont you get tired ? "
REMEMBER: Our emotional strength is as limited as our human strength.
Not every person that comes to you is transparent. Some are truly evil minded and vampires living in the clockwise world of take - take - take- suck and destroy. You know their heart is black and yet you are called to still love unconditionally.
Yours is not to judge but to serve.. but also it us necessary to GUARD your heart ,and not get into the state of requesting the gift of forgiveness. it is the stronger person who us able to say NO to his carnal desire to seek revenge. It is only grace that saves us through faith and that through LOVE.
She (MT) said - " There was a time I did because I wanted to feed everyone...but then I asked God in my prayers... Lord... send me only the ones who need me ...and the rest... you take care of them!- " From that time she wasn't overwhelmed and was able to help those who truly needed it.
There are people in this world that are there to give succour - strength and support to the weak and the vulnerable and the ones whose lives have been messed up by the power games of others...
REMEMBER.. "from everything that is bitter comes something sweet."
"Out of the eater, something to eat; out of the strong, something sweet."Judges 12: 12.
Its an old Hebrew saying too. Meaning sometimes not everything is what it appears to be. Something bad happened to Horatio Spafford . He lost his family at sea. 4 beautiful daughters. So sad.
His wife telegrammed him from London and said : " SAVED ALONE- WHAT SHALL I DO?"
I saw the telegram and his poem in a museum in Jerusalem.. and I can totally concur this story as a true one. But why did the wife not do more to save herself when she could have ? - answer : because her salvation was assured. And she let others on the lifeboat before her. She could have saved those 4 children .. but she let others before her. She herself was fished out of the cold waters of the ocean. What would you or others have done ? who knows. But it was a big blow to Horatio and it changed his life.
That tragedy spurred him on to write a famous hymn " it is well with my soul " and to establish the American Colony in Jerusalem that laid the foundation of the Oslo accord and also the establishment of a place where two enemies could meet and talk.
Nobody asks you to practise cheap forgiveness ...no one... but what we do ask is you practise forliveness... because this is YOUR LIFE... in whatever station you are .. its the way of the heart that determines the blessings of the Almighty.
Never coming to closure like knights in white satin but nursing your pain as long as you live with whatever ANESTHESIA and whatever excuse you can make up to perpetuate its truth.
Never getting better. Never living.
You may not get all the justice you seek... all the healing you seek... all that you have lost returned... but life carries on today and tomorrow- and you deserve better. You deserve better. Success is your best revenge for injustice and if you cant achieve that.
Then living is the BEST life statement ever.. and living well... doing everything your heart ever dreamed of despite life's hopelessness and pain -and despair and drudgery.
That's forliveness. That's much more than just moving on. Living well.
Just watch the end of Once upon a time in the West... the woman carries on her life... its not what she wanted... but its forliveness. Its better than being a whore in New Orleans.
You deserve life. More of it... and this is why it is important to flow from ...as difficult as it is...
- from FORGIVENESS TO FORLIVENESS.
I thank you . Keep the faith. Every day has new light. Every day is a NEW adventure. ALWAYS.
Being ALIVE is another chance to practise forliveness and gratitude for life.
NEVER GIVE UP. NEVER SURRENDER.
Aslan
FOR 1 2 1 trauma release contact me on zap or telegram +447423714007
References:
BROTHER ROGER
http://taizeinformation.blogspot.com/2011/04/frere-rogers-murderess-is-murdered.html?m=1
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brother_Roger
FORGIVENESS
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brother_Roger
ANDREAS BREIVIK
https://youtu.be/Tk4grvIBhZo
https://youtu.be/6LSA8fXKKEQ
ZANZIBAR
https://youtu.be/6LSA8fXKKEQ
AFRIKANER FARM MURDERS
https://youtu.be/b-Ubvkep0jQ
IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL -
forgiveness... forliveness... completion. acceptance.
https://youtu.be/AHe_qmo3gX4
Never reaching the end
Letters I've written
Never meaning to send
Beauty I'd always missed
With these eyes before
Just what the truth is
I can't say anymore
'Cause I love you
Yes I love you
Oh, how I love you
Gazing at people
Some hand in hand
Just what I'm going through
They can't understand
Some try to tell me
Thoughts they cannot defend
Just what you want to be
You will be in the end
And I love you
Yes I love you
Oh, how I love you
Oh, how I love you
Nights in white satin
Never reaching the end
Letters I've written
Never meaning to send
Beauty I'd always missed
With these eyes before
Just what the truth is
I can't say anymore
Yes I love you
Oh, how I love you
Oh, how I love you
Yes I love you
Yes I love you
Oh, how I love you
Oh, how I love you
Breathe deep the gathering gloom
Watch lights fade from every room
Bed sitter people look back and lament
Another days useless energy spent
Impassioned lovers wrestle as one
Lonely man cries for love and has none
New mother picks up and suckles her son
Senior citizens wish they were young
Cold hearted orb that rules the night
Removes the colors from our sight
Red is gray and yellow white
But we decide which is right
And which is an illusion
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